Last night Cory and I have discussed the next step... we decided to start the adoption process (thinking it would it would take some time) well we found a adoption service not knowing how much it really would cost... around $30,000! Yep! You read that right! Well so we thought to start the paper work cause we hear it takes a lot of time and there is so much to get ready before your file is taken to a birth mother. There is a fee for a application. There are fees for everything! As we were reading through the papers of everything we need to get together and the fees for everything... it was almost as painful as it is to go through IVF... Not mentioning that you can go through all that and the birth mother can choose you and then change her mind after the baby is born! Rip in the heart! Like hearing after IVF your not pregnant!
Now both have pros and cons but the question is now what one do we do next... Both... we have to save for... Both.. if neither work we are out a lot of money... Both... we may come pregnant or the mother will go though with it... Both... Did I mention we need to save for their both very expensive...(Sometimes i don't feel we have time.. Its hard enough as it is)
What should we do next.. I don't know I don't have the answer right now.. I feel confused and torn. I don't know what will be the next step in this.. I just hope that one day soon we will get to have a family no matter what way it comes.
Right now... I am going to be a auntie, Cory and I can go on dates with out finding a sitter, we are planning tuns of fun things to do this summer, no big trips for now we have decided because we would rather save for now and hope to do adopt in near future.
It is hard it wont just go away in a day but I am trying to stay as strong as I can. I owe that to my husband who is so patient, loving, and supportive in all this. I may have a big scar after all this but I will get through it.. the crappy thing is I dont know when. For now I am going to just live day by day and try to make each day a better one and do my best to get through it.
Ah Kylee... I'm so sorry that IVF didn't work out for you guys last time. That's so frustrating. You guys are going to be amazing parents when it happens!! We are always thinking of you!! =)
ReplyDeleteOh Ky, I'm so sorry! These are incredibly hard decisions to make... but I just know that the Lord loves you and Cory. And He has a plan for you two that will make you happier than you could've ever imagined!
ReplyDeleteAnd now to talk about the price of adoption... holy crap! Why does it cost so much? Eric and I have been talking a lot of adopting, but I guess we'll be waiting a few years for that!
Kylee,
ReplyDeleteHave you looked into LDS Family services for adoption? My bother and sister in law just adopted through them, and so has my sister's bro and sis in laws, as well as a couple siblings. I know they have a $10,000 cap...and the price you pay is based off of your income....but with a $10 grand cap. I know it is still expensive, but way more affordable than 30-40 grand! YOu never now what life is going to bring....the older I get the more I realize just how little I can control! My heart breaks for you guys....just keep being positive! I will keep you two in my prayers.
I was going to mention LDS as well. It so much cheaper than a private adoption agency. (It may take longer though...which is the downside). I had a good friend who went through LDS and although they waited quite a while they actually just got a baby girl this past Christmas which made it all worth the wait for them. You just have to trust that this will happen when it is supposed to happen. You are strong...I know this will work out for you guys in time.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is all you can do...Live day by day. Take each day as it comes. Live your life to the fullest and be as strong as you can with the help of friends, family, your husband and the constant companionship of the Lord. I know it is very difficult at this time for you and Cory with all of the uncertainties, but I promise your family will come when the time is right. It may be through adoption, conception of IVF. I know it is difficult and easier said then done, believe me I know, but enjoy this time with Cory. Once you have kids it will never again be just the two of you where you can pick up and go, date whenever and just worry about one another. Although we struggled for 4 years with infertility I now look back and am grateful for those years that Andrew and I had to focus on us and to become stronger and closer than I could have imagined. I think that is why our relationship is so easy now. Others think how do they do it with the differences in choice of religion (as you know I get asked all the time) but it works for us. I truly believe our children or our family was not yet ready to begin when we thought nearly 7 years ago (seems so long ago), but I do knwo that when it happened the timing could not have been more perfect in more ways than one as we talked about. The lord has a plan for you and a family to begin. Trust in the Lord. In the meantime, I am hear to lend a listening ear at any time. Sorry my comments are always so long. I just understand all too much what you are currently going through.
ReplyDeleteyou have the most awesome husband!! he was meant for you, and for this difficult time. you will be an incredible mother, and you will be the funnest aunt! live your life to the fullest now, and embrace each change as they come. you have a great network of supportive and loving friends and family. while we cannot physically take any of this away for you, we can help and love you through it! (lds services is %10 of your income.) i admire you for your courage and positive attitude. love you too!!
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